6-year-old's absent father comes back into the picture and invites her and mother to Christmas dinner, chaos ensues: 'I am making sure he never has contact with my child'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Dec 20, 2024 2:00 PM EST

Some things really do sound like bad ideas on paper. If you have a gut feeling that you shouldn't go to something for whatever reason, you should not let go of that feeling. Here, we have a mother, who had her now six-year-old daughter from a one-night stand. Although she would occasionally give her daughter's father updates and schedule occasional visits, he was mostly an absent father.

However, after six years, he suddenly decided to be more present, and it seemed too good to be true when he invited the two of them to join him at his house for Christmas dinner. Little did the Redditor know that her daughter's father had a whole family of his own, and to make matters worse, the sudden attachment to his six-year-old girl was not exactly coming from a genuine place. In fact, he was using his daughter as "therapy" for his wife's grief. It's safe to say that what followed was a disastrous evening.

Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from folks in the comments section. For more, check out this story about a mom who bailed on her kid's wedding.

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    Cheezburger Image 10443539456
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)
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    My daughter's father wants to use her as 'therapy' for his wife
    via tasinglemom
  • 03
    I(33F) going to pre-face this by saying my six years old daughter's father (37M), I'm going to call him Jeff, has never been my romantic partner. We
    via tasinglemom
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    had a one night stand. I don't like people calling him my ex, since it makes it seem we had some kind of emotional attachement. He was never involved after I told him I was pregnant, and actually
    via tasinglemom
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    wanted me to the pregnancy, but I decided to raise my child alone since I have enough money to raise her without child support.
    via tasinglemom
  • 06
    For the whole pregnancy and the first four years, Jeff was not in the picture. On my mother's recommendation, I did send him pictures and invited him to special events, but he always
    via tasinglemom
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    replied he had no interest in my daughter. Two years ago he reappeared and began demanding parental rights. When I didn't do what he wanted, he sued, and was told no, he was not getting parental rights. He
    via tasinglemom
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    was given the offer to pay child support and then we can revisit giving him actual rights, but he has refused. He has the money, much more than me, but he refuses.
    via tasinglemom
  • 09
    I still offered to let him see my daughter in a casual manner, no child support needed, with the agreement anything legal, medical, or educational will not involve him. He pushed the
    via tasinglemom
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    boundaries and we had a fallout. After that, we didn't hear from him for almost 6 weeks before he called to meet for Christmas.
    via tasinglemom
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    After much discussion, I agreed to bring my daughter over on the condition my daughter's godparents could come. Thus we went over for christmas dinner.
    via tasinglemom
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    And finding out Jeff is married and had never told his family he had a child. It was great to be judged by a bunch of strangers.
    via tasinglemom
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    It was uncomfortable the whole time. I'm going to use fake names, but let's say my daughter's name is Katie. His wife kept calling my daughter Gabrielle. Not the actual name she used, but it was that different
    via tasinglemom
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    to my daughter's name. The wife was also very physical, trying to pick up my daughter or parent her. I would block her or tell her to please let me deal with my child. The whole time she pretty much ignore me, but Katie didn't seem nervous so I decided to just bid my time.
    via tasinglemom
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    I hit my limit when my daughter said she needed the bathroom and this stranger went: "Oh Gaby you need pottie? Let mommy change you."
    via tasinglemom
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    My daughter hasn't worn diapers in a while now and she's more than capable of going alone to the bathroom. I immediately told her to stay away from my daughter and that we were leaving. The woman starting
    via tasinglemom
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    wailing that I was kid ing her 'baby girl' and tried to lunge at me. Her in-laws got in the middle and hold her, consoling her and saying that we weren't leaving and for her to calm down like she was the victim.
    via tasinglemom
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    At that point I just glared at Jeff and told him he better explain or I would be calling the police. He asked me to speak in private in another room and that I could just leave my daughter with his parents. No way that would ever happen. Katie's godparents took her with them despite the wife having a full meltdown.
    via tasinglemom
  • 19
    Jeff and I spoke outside and he explained that he and his wife recently lost a daughter. I'm not going to give specific details on that, all I'll say it was sudden and nobody's fault. And as I can only imagine it had caused some psychological issues to his wife.
    via tasinglemom
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    Apparently he had the brilliant idea that having Katie pass as their lost child would help his wife. Without telling me. And that's why he wanted visitations and parental rights. He pleaded for me to leave my daughter with him for 'a little bit'. I asked him what was his plan when his wife 'heals'.
    via tasinglemom
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    His response was disgusting: "Well, I'll just send Katie back with you and it will be just like before."
    via tasinglemom
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    I told him he was insane if he thought I would let him use my daughter like that. What his wife needs is therapy with a professional, not feeding her delusions. And I would not let
    via tasinglemom
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    that woman within miles from my daughter. He told me I was being cruel and didn't know the pain of losing a child. I agreed with him, but reminded Jeff that my priority is not his family; it's my child.
    via tasinglemom
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    What he and his family do to work through their grief has nothing to do with us. I also told him to call his lawyer because I am making sure he never has contact with my child.
    via tasinglemom
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    So that's what I'm bracing for. He's been blasting my phone since Christmas, but I can easily ignore him. My daughter and I are doing a small travel vacation.
    via tasinglemom
  • 26
    This isn't an update, just something I feel needs to be said: My daughter is set for life monetarily. She has a trust and I make really good money in my position. If she was 18 right now, I
    via tasinglemom
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    could put her through college without a loan. She doesn't need child support for quality of life. If I could get child support and never worry about her father trying something, I would be suing him
    via tasinglemom
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    in a heartbeat. But after talking to a lawyer and realizing the risk, I've taken the decision that child support, or possible inheritance, is not worth my child's safety. SAFETY is always first.
    via tasinglemom
  • 29
    1/6/2024 Hey Everyone. Happy New's Years. This isn't so much a real update as just letting people know we are home and safe. My daughter is spending the rest of her vacation with her godparents
    via tasinglemom
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    on another trip while I work on things. Moving might be something I'll be looking into, though that is a long term plan considering all it takes. I won't share too many details on what my lawyer is going to be doing
    via tasinglemom
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    push for an RO. I might not post for some time. At least not until things settled. I do appreciate all the support and good advice. I'm taking a lot of it into account as I plan how to move forward.
    via tasinglemom

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FAILS entitled parents parenting entitled people karma entitled reddit thread Reddit Parenting Fail entitled people
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